Horizon Homestead

After my first cycle was cancelled, I decided to try again within a cycle or two. Just like last time I called the clinic on day 1 of my cycle. I had my first blood test on day 9 as day 10 was on the weekend. I went back for a second blood test on day 12.

After that, I was asked to get an ultrasound and blood test on day 15 of my cycle. Later that same afternoon, I was sent an email with instructions to administer my trigger just before midnight Thursday, and then be at the clinic before midday Saturday for my IUI.

Saturday rolled around, and I arrived a little early and no one was there! The clinic was clearly closed, no lights on, no people in sight bar one security man who must’ve thought I was mad, standing outside an office with all the lights off. The time I was told to be there by came and went, and the lights remained off. Finally, a while after I was told to be there, someone arrived via the elevator, and opened up the clinic. I was the only appointment that day, it turned out, and the doctor had chosen my trigger timing to match their preferred later morning start. The woman who let me in was the nurse, who turned out to be the director of nursing for the clinic. She’d missed her normal ride and had ubered to the clinic, she explained to me as she unlocked the office.

The nurse checked my details, advised me the doctor would arrive shortly, and around 30 minutes later, they did. Once in the procedure room, the embryologist quickly showed me the vial telling me it was the donor number on the vial (handwritten), I quickly confirmed it was (luckily I’d memorised it – she took it away almost immediately after talking!).

Finally, I was on the chair ready for the IUI. A lot of time, money and effort to get to this point, finally! Two different speculums were attempted before the procedure was concluded. I found out later, after the procedure, that the doctor decided to deposit the sperm in my vagina. (I know, I know – NOT an IUI). On the day, after the procedure, the doctor told me to remind them ‘next time’ they should try the longer, narrower speculum. I left that day wondering why they didn’t try it during this procedure, and feeling less confident that things had been handled well.

My blood test was booked for cycle day 33, 16 days after my IUI. The progesterone I had to take after my IUI meant my normal cycle length was extended a little. Before the beta blood test, I was aware it would likely be negative, as most first IUIs are. I also felt I hadn’t gotten an actual IUI, which I discovered after the procedure was true – what was done didn’t meet the IUI standard, as the sperm was not inserted into my uterus at all.

Blood test day rolled around and my results are….negative, unsurprisingly.

I’m left feeling unsure about continuing with this doctor whom other women had raved about. My experience thus far was of someone who didn’t remember her patient, made decisions on the day without confirming consent or even advising me of the change. When I emailed to express my disappointment over not offering me a chance to consent to the changed procedure, I got a response that tried to push back on me as though my disappointment was about the negative cycle result, where I had explicitly stated it was the issue of consent and the resulting loss of trust in their treatment of me.

It shouldn’t take a phone call and multiple emails to get an apology over something they are required to obtain by law – consent. My experience has resulted in a serious loss of trust and confidence in the doctor, and more broadly, the clinic.

Fertility treatment is already a bit of a rough road, and there are so many uncertainties, I feel the least businesses that profit off it could do, is do it well. With the recent scandals made public here in Australia regarding the wrong sperm and embryos being used, you’d think specialists would be more proactive and attentive in their service. It’s thousands and thousands of dollars every attempt.

I finish this cycle disappointed and a bit disheartened. I’ve had to purchase additional sperm just to keep my preferred donor, when I’m not sure what I’ll decide to do next. I’ll have to consider switching doctors, as I just can’t be sure this one will do what I pay for, and they clearly didn’t want to be held accountable. I’ll need to decide if I should submit a formal complaint to the clinic or AHPRA, if it meets the threshold for that. All that on top of deciding what my next cycle should be, and with whom.

Whatever I decide, I’ll be taking someone with me to ensure proper procedure is followed, communication is clear and consent is sought as necessary.

If you’re reading this because you’re on or have been on a fertility path, what was your experience like?