How do you find your people?

I think more and more people feel like while they may technically have friends, they’re never the close, chosen friends of their friends.

I’ve given a lot more to most of the people who were in my life from the beginning of my adulthood to now, and got very little back. I’m the friend who is always there, but often neglected because I’m ‘low maintenance’. I’m good for a lift when it’s needed, a meal when others are lonely, an ear to listen, or an event they want to go to but not alone. But I’ve never been prioritised. When I’ve been poorly, or needed company, or had something I wanted to do but not alone and reached out, everyone, always, is too busy. I understand that. It hurts, even to me, who finds more peace and happiness alone than I do with other humans.

There are people who I gave significant time and attention to in my 20s who have forgotten me by my 30s. People move in and out of each other’s lives, sure, but that’s different from never being chosen, just a sometimes convenient option.

My best friends are my animals- they taught me unconditional love and true companionship. They are kind, caring and fun. I choose them over my human friends, who are often as fickle as they can be kind. They are good people, but they are not my core people. I don’t think I’ve met them yet.

I’ve reached a point in my life where if people aren’t putting in equal effort to their relationship with me, then nor will I. Sometimes I feel like I may never meet ‘my people’ face to face. I recognise other souls who want the same peace in online platforms – those who have found theirs, with a cottage in the forest, or apartment in the city.

The internet, while being a hateful, divisive space for many, can also be a community that you struggle to match in real life. People all over the world whose life echoes elements of our own, that we connect to.

I am working towards my peace, my goals, my life. I don’t need close friends to get there, but even with all my experience telling me people won’t invest equally in me as I have in them, I still want to share my joys.

So I’ll share them here. Until I find my people, out there.